Confessions of a Serial Interviewer by Steven Ra Ga

Working in the service industry is rough. I got my start working as a dishwasher, then soon after I found my self in college.

It wasn’t long before I started spending almost all my time in pub at college. I would consume everything. I was lonely and terrible at college mainly because I wasn’t focused on a career goal.

Also I have a HOPs allergy and Gluten Intolerance that I wouldn’t find out until years later.

One day at college in 2005 I was roaming the halls and stumbled upon an ad to become a Bartender, it was a school that taught showman ship and bartending. It didn’t cost too much so I thought “why not”.

Days later I showed up downtown at a local nightclub where some other people were hanging out front. We had all signed up for the class and we’re waiting for the instructor to appear.

When he finally did, he was a small 5’6” Chinese guy with a great big smile. He was dressed very nice. He will be known as Sammy. Once inside the bar Sammy handed out booklets with lists of drinks to study.

The course was a couple of weeks long meeting up every Wednesday.

During the course I befriended a Philippines guy named Jake; we would study together and ultimately hashed a plan to go into business with one another to service dorm rooms with healthy food options late at night, we had a business plan and everything, even shopped it around but eventually Jake dropped out and returned to a life of crime, he was a Philippine gangster of sorts, I didn’t ask too many questions.

I would later learn that bartenders seem to dance between the legit world and the underworld on occasion.

While at the school I got good and flipping bottles behind my back and catching them, mixing drinks was easy if there wasn’t any milk required. I ultimately failed the course but in the end befriended Sammy who passed me anyway due to my honesty.

Sammy and I then started a weird friendship. Since I was seeking to escape the craziness of my family it was a perfect setup. After bartending school Sammy hooked me up with my first gig as a bartender.

I was super green (noobie) to the whole thing. I just had school experience not practical experience in the field.

The bar we went to was small, like a little pub in a strip mall, it was supposed to be a chill evening, mainly opening beers, but nope, it just so happened it was ladies night, and everyone wanted mixed cocktails with milk.

Fu…..ck. I was so upset, I sucked and mixing those it wasn’t long before the drinks were sent back because they all had curdled. I was the only bartender working so I had to think on my feet.

As the night dragged on, a guy came up and ordered some drink that was easy to make you just pour it in shot glasses but I was distracted because a male stripper appeared on stage, his cock just dangling, I saw it out of the corner of my eye, and I stared for a bit in shock then realizing I had mixed this guys drink in ice which watered down the shots… the guy looked and me and said “I have never seen anyone make the drinks like that before.” My eyes turned to him “it’s a new thing” I said confidently to cover up my mistake.

After that experience you could bet I wasn’t as keen on jumping in before I walked. I then get a job as the busier at a night club, my job was to collect empty drinks, wipe tables and cut limes.

Being a busier is tough, especially when you are new, no one shows you what to do and no one can hear you speak.

I recall walking up to a table one evening to collect their empties, feeling uncomfortable I politely tried to ask if I could take their cups, with no success, the ladies thought it was a pick up line. Talk about awkward…

At that same gig the bartenders thought it would be fun to play a prank on me. They said “there is a Latin bar across the street, go there and grab a can of air we need it for the dishwasher.” Confused, I went, ready to serve and happy to please I didn’t question my orders.

When I got to the other bar, and explained why I was there; the bartenders at the Latin bar came out with a small can, no bigger than a can of tuna, they said “put your hand out palm up, now place this can on your palm, and walk carefully, cause the can could easily release the air at any moment.”

Now it’s not far fetched to believe a can of air could be a thing since C02 comes in bottles and the like.

But anyway like a jackass I walked 1 block back to the bar, carefully balancing a can of air on my hand like it was a landmine. As I approached the door, the big Bouncer laughed an said “If you are dumb enough to believe that prank you will never make it in this industry.”

After that job ended. I found myself as a barback at a smaller pub near home. I liked this one, you would move kegs, grab new glass ware and flirt with the waitress staff. Plus the head bartender Mike was teaching me the ropes. While there I had asked some of the night bartenders, how they liked to be spoken to, so I didn’t piss them off while supplying their bar, they said “look kid, if we are swearing at you, calling you fuck face it means we like you, and you only have to worry if we are giving you the cold shoulder.” That seemed reasonable, strange but I got it. It went long before I was let go, the pub was owned by a husband and wife team and the wife came to me one day and said “look, you are a great worker and we like having you hear we just can’t afford to pay you anymore.” It struck me as odd because they were doing so well. Later I would learn they went bankrupt because the husband had an out of control cocaine addiction and they ultimately got divorced.

After that ended Sammy was getting together with some Millionaires who turned an old box store into a bar for a local fare. It had a western theme and was call The Saloon. It was massive and would have 100s of bar staff, it would only run for 10days but they could double there money if things went to plan.

Sammy had asked if I wanted to join him and be part of the bar staff in a supervisor role, I would first need to help with marketing, which was cold calling oil companies and trying to book them for vip sections. It was tough. We worked out of the hotel that was attached to the bar, taking up a couple of rooms I had a crack team of college students calling, barely anyone could book people, because it wasn’t the best setup as people often just when to their usual spots during that time period.

When it came to hiring staff, I would have to bring on the gals who would be beer tub and waitresses, the rest of our team was chosen by Sammy.

When the day came it was a mess, one of my duties was cash out, I had to calculate tabs in excel and add them up to cash out the girls, I couldn’t take the pressure, having 5 women bark at me all at once for their money in a high pressure position was more than I bargained for.

After I escaped that hell, it was on to check on our young busters and bar backs, these were 18yr old guys, young and in experienced leading their way through life with their brains in their pants.

One in particular was Gerald, his duties were to check on the beer tub girls and make sure their tubs were filled with beer. Someone had said he had gone missing, so I had to track him down.

We were warned the employees could get drunk and such which was grounds for termination. When I found Gerald he was in the back on a chair speaking in tongue, a bouncer that was near him told me “Gerald is fucked up, I think he got Roofied.” Getting Roofied is when someone slips the date rape drug in your drink and you drink it. This wasn’t good news, we needed to found out what happend.

I made it my mission to solve the mystery like an episode of Scooby Doo. I spoke to several beer tub girls until Alex told me “Oh, Gerald, that sucks, so Um yeah, there was this guy buying me drinks, vodka waters and I wouldn’t drink them I just left them on the edge of the tub, cause you know if we drink we get fired, so yeh Gerald came by to chat and asked why I had drinks, I explained it to him so he offered to drink them for me, he drank all 3 in one go, impressive right.” No, not impressive, more like plain stupid. It stuck me as odd Alex didn’t report this guy to a bouncer, but I guess it’s true stupid lasts forever.

Gerald earned the name “Roofy Boy” for the rest of the production, he wasn’t fired as 10+ on the date rape drug was punishment enough, at least he learned a valuable lesson.

When the production ended the staff got together and partied. I got wasted, cock blocked Sammy, then Sammy tore my shirt clean off, so I ran heavily intoxicated to the train, to a bus and the rest of the way home. Laughing all the way. Alcohol usually puts me into a state of pure joy.

I met up with Sammy years later in Toronto when I worked at X-Rox and years after that when I live in Vancouver. He happens to be the GM at a bar in Langley about an hour from Vancouver. He would hire me to come and do photography for the club, he would pay me $200 for the night, and $200 for my cab to and from. It was fun for a while but eventually it started to clash with my studies.

I lost touch with Sammy until years after that I happened to run into him at Trump Tower in Vancouver, I told him I was thinking about opening a film school but needed some capital, he said “how about 10 million, I can get you 10 million tomorrow.” I froze, 10 million dollars, just like that, wow, I think back how I should have taken it and tried but Sammy used to be a gangster in his youth and I somehow new, if I took that money and things went belly up, he might send me swimming with cinderblock shoes it wasn’t the kind of risk I wanted to take. That was the last time I saw Sammy.