Confessions of a Serial Interviewer by Steven Ra Ga

Where to start.

In July 2015 I had the wildest interview I ever had.

When I arrived after applying to the job of a Project Manager the person I met will be called Grumpy 60yrs OG age, he was to be my manager. Now Grumpy was from England and had that lovely accident but the man wasn’t lovely at all, he showed me around the shop and introduced me to the staff, and then we sat down with the owner. The owner Lumpy had explain to me the job, which was a lot of responsibilities, but seemed manageable. At the time he told me “I had a fucking great resume and that I was just what he was searching for!” I had never had anyone praise me like that before in an interview.

Of course I wanted to hear more, Grumpy then took me around the shop to see more, when he started to explain his role, he wanted to say something like “Because I am in the business of service I have to take it on the chin and do whatever I can to please my customers, I am at their mercy.” But instead he said “All I do is suck dick all day, gesturing with two fists in the air as if to show the act of sucking two dicks from different directions.”

I was shocked by this, despite, I left the interview and ask my friends what they thought, they all told me this was a bad sign and not to take the job. I should have listened to them. Maybe I should have gone back to the film industry or taken up a tradesman job. But instead I dove in balls deep and regretted every minute of the 2.5yrs I spent at the company with Lumpy 50s yes of age and Grumpy.

SPOILER ALERT: *Oh just and FYI in all my blog posts the names have been changed for legal reasons…*

The company XYZ Exhibits (fake name) was a design company they built custom exhibits for trade shows and marketing companies.

Basically rapid prototyping but the prototype was the final product. That was one half of the company, the other half was the events side they did conferences and weddings and parties like bar mitzvahs etc.

Basically one side of the company the women worked there in events and the other side men worked in Exhibits.

My job was to do design, upsell, supervise and install exhibits. From start to finish.

There was another guy there for a time that helped to train me before leaving he was Styles, and Styles looked like a dapper guy out of the 1950s. He was great at his job, in his 40s but had a wildness to him, he didn’t wear stress well and this job was stressful.

My first assignment in the job I screwed up, I had to design a pony wall for cell phone chargers for an event. I made the wall huge, like a massive “L” shape, made of wood and painted white. I thought the builders would think for themselves and make the object light weight and in sections, you common sense, I was wrong, very wrong.

The carpenters built the wall to fit the dimensions, they made it heavy and all one item, no sections.

It took 6 men to lift it off the back of the truck, walk it along a plywood hwy, to its resting spot on the wooden floor we made for the event which was outdoors in a grassy area. I never made that mistake again.

Builders build, movers move and supervisors supervise, only the architect/designer or engineers make decisions to change things on the fly.

That big L shaped beast lived in the shop for a while until the clients requested ownership, we of course decided to saw it in half and make it easier to reattach there would no way the client could have that moved other wise.

After that project I got to work on several more, Grumpy was my direct manager and treated me very well at 1st. My main issue was overthinking at that job, since I had just left the film industry I had some PTSD from my experience. Basically anytime you screwed up on a film set unless you were a union member could mean you would get fired that evening. This happened a lot to me. So when I worked for Grumpy and when I would mess up I would go into this self torture loop of saying “I am gonna get fired for this, I am so getting fired.” This mentally destroyed my self confidence over time.

My 1st big mistake was ordering Christmas balls for some ordainments that a client needed. I didn’t have a visual reference so in my head I just tried to figure it out, rather than making a drawing and using a measuring tape, I ended up ordering tons of the wrong size balls, then determined to fix it I personally drove around to every Canadian tire I could to personally buy enough items to make it all work. It was madness. But I really didn’t know what I was doing and didn’t want to get fired.

After the stress of that project was over I had some time to relax but no much, I eventually turned a project that was supposed to be only 4hrs a week into a 24/7 7 days a week project that got way out of control. I increased profits from $200k to $400k in a vary short time span and paid the ultimate price, my mental health.

Employers love when their staff can increase revenue for the company but when you set the bar high to quickly it will be your pain forever. My advice don’t raise the bar, just keep the status que.

This project became my life, I recall taking a Sunday to go hiking in the mountains with my girlfriend at the time, we went to place with no cell reception thinking I needed a break from my work. When I got back to my car I had all these threatening voicemails, basically we had an install in Calgary and thing went shit wrong. Because in order to do work in another city you had to contract out the job, so we chose BILLY BOBS MOVERS (fake name) thinking that they would do a great job. What I didn’t know and wouldn’t find out until 5yrs after I left company that BILLY BOB had sun contracted the gig out to SUPER SMART exhibits another company/competitors of ours, and they would constantly screw up installs and strikes (strikes are away of sawing exits). I had to basically sort everything out Over the phone in the mountains I was so upset.

It is t rocket science, like the lady I felt with at BILLY BOBS I swear was either as dense as a phone book from the 90s or was just terrible at her job. I would send emails and ensure everything was set up just right and confirm with her before and install or strike and it didn’t matter something would always go wrong and rather than solving it she would call me to ask, like at lot of the issues could have just been solved on the fly…

The job also came with tons of challenges, mainly because the reps from the marketing company and the main company were all young 18-21 yr olds who didn’t care much, it was their first job most often.

The project was a traveling mall activation selling cable packages for a company, they often hired young and dumb kids to sell and these kids would often break the activation so it needed constant fixing. It got so bad I had 22 separate quotes out to the main contact for fixing items, then he approved all 22 in one month that was tough trying to get it all done we were slammed.

The company I worked for had an in house carpenter who was an high functioning alcoholic, his former lover and mother of his kids worked as the warehouse manager, makes for a wild dynamic sometimes. Rusty the drunk Carp, had to be watched closely as he often would just changed a design on the fly when he wanted to cut corners rather than ask questions. Always ask the designer questions never be afraid of looking stupid, cause if you build the wrong thing you are gonna have to build it all over again.

One time we had to build this tall rectangular box for an Xbox device for mall activation, it was important we design a space for airflow but not big enough for a hand to get in and steal the items so we designed a slit, Rusty, myself and Grumpy all sat together while we designed and agreed. Rusty then went down to the shop to start building and I went back to work on my other projects. 15mins pass and Grumpy asks “have you Gina to check in Rusty yet.” I turn to Grumpy as our desks were diagonally across from another. “No” I responded thinking Rusty is a trained carpenter he knows what he is doing, like my friend Larry doesn’t need to be watched while building things. Grumpy then says “go check on him” reluctantly I get up and go into the shop to check on Rusty, he’s in his 40s and has been in the trades the majority of his life. When I saw the box it looked okay until I saw it. The slit was know 3 giant wholes, I could fit my whole hand into. When I asked Rusty WTF he explained it was easier this way…

“Rusty!” I said aloud “How the fuck are people now going to steal the Xbox from the box?” Rusty looked at me confused, I then simulated stealing objects from the box showing how my hand could fit through the wholes. Puzzled he stared at me.

“Rusty we can’t have 3 circles people will steal the items out of the box, fix this.” I said to Rusty, I then had to sit there and watch him fix the box. It was annoying and draining of my day.

Rusty would go on to do stuff like this many other times until I started finding other people who could do the job then just charge the client a higher fee because Lumpy wouldn’t fire anyone no mater how incompetent people were.

Case in point we had this new hire his name was MONKEY MAN he hailed from New Zeland area. He was impulsive and impatient at times, his job was to install locally and drive the 5ton truck. 4 times Monkey Man would end up crashing the truck because he was too impatient to wait for someone to assist him. He hit a security van once, the roof of an event centre and two other times he hit a wall. Nothing too serious but enough to draw some attention. So we promoted him to an account manager role, he would eventually take over my gig after some training so I could move on to other projects.

Beyond the wild and zany nature of just working on projects we had the strange dynamics of Lumpy and Grumpy.

One time there was a loud noise coming from the front of the office when we looked out the window Grumpy has sunk his car in the lawn, he got blocked in and tried to off road his car around everyone but the ground in Vancouver is soggy so the car just sank, eventually we all helped push the car out of the whole.

Grumpy was an older guy on his 4th marriage he would often tell me stories of his youth, the girls he would slay, the girls in the office he wanted to slay, and how Lumpy’s company was bankrupt. In fact only 2months after starting at the company Grumpy told me how much of an idiot Lumpy was and how the company was so in debt that Lumpy had mortgaged his house 3 times just to keep the doors open. It gave me the impression I was hired as a last ditch effort to save the company.

Sure I helped, but in the end it didn’t matter.

Lumpy was a control freak, he was cheap but would spend money foolishly. His employees often took advantage and would spend the late nights complaining to me about his abuse of power. Because we didn’t have HR people could get away with everything.

Grumpy was a psychopath, we had a domestic violence style relationship, he would yell at me for something then the next day he would bring me a gift, typically a coffee mug or let me drive his mustang for lunch. It was super weird and like a bad relationship you stay just for the sex and perks. He would make comments about my Scottish heritage or Jewish remarks (he didn’t know I was a jew) it was awful.

So much my 1st day the warehouse manager confronted me and said “You make more money than I do.” I didn’t know what to say. But I later found out the receptionist would display everyone’s cheques on her desk for anyone to see. No wonder I had a target on my back when I first started.

Near the end of my time at that company things were starting to fall apart. For me mentally I was loosing it. My long term girlfriend and I decided to break up. I had to move to a new place, and the company decided it was time for me to go but didn’t want to just fire me they wanted me to quit. And they did everything they could to make it happen.

One of my last projects involved setting up an exhibit for a medical conference in Boston that would eventually travel to New Orleans. I have to say that was the best part of the job, I got to travel a lot, from Whistler to Calgary and then off to America.

In Boston I spent a total of 2 weeks there. 1 week to setup and 1 week to take it down and ship it. While in Boston I got to meet some nice locals and party with them, I also got an opportunity to get lost on the way to the airport with our GPS and rental vehicle. Oh and we went to Harvard and checked out the campus. I even bought a Harvard hoodie as a gift to myself.

Our Airbnb happens to be in Southie a part of Boston where the Irish lived. You know that place in Good Will Hunting and The Town movies…

One night we went to an Irish pub and I was waring the Harvard hoodie. (In Canada no one cares) but there everyone cares. I was drinking whiskey when this guy covered in tattoos and gold teeth walks in, I could see him out of the corner of my eye. In a thick boston accent he says “Hey yah Harvard” and proceeds to beak at me from across the bar, I wanted to tell him I was a tourist and didn’t know any better, but I knew he was just looking for a fight.

So I paid, got up slowly, and kept my head down and left then ran to my Airbnb and hid inside. I told the story my America labours we had hired to do the work with us and one said to me “I got a knife I can go down there and cut him for you, boss.” Though I did admire his commitment to the job I defiantly didn’t want some kind of incident on this trip. Politely I asked him not to and just to stay in the rental..

Another night we went to a different Irish bar, (no hoodie) while there the guy with the knife and I drank some whisky. I asked for a double no ice and I got a whole cup full. We then asked if there was any good pizza places around, another patron in a thick boston accent said to us “It’s Tuesday, there isn’t anything open after 9pm on a Tuesday.” To my surprise you can get Pizza in my small Canadian city until 1am… then we got into a decision about where the best pizza in town was. He mentioned “Reginas” was the best.

Boston was an experience, it was very expensive but definitely worth revisiting.

New Orleans was amazing, I have been there twice now and it’s awesome, especially on the companies dime. Magazine Street is wonderful such a funky vibe. I found an eyeglass store that was just up my alley. My hotel room was big but the rooms had no AC or breakfast so that sucked. I recall being all bloated from the humidity.

The Gumbo was to die for, everywhere I ate the food was unbelievable and delicious.

I got there just after Mardi Gras and there was beads everywhere.

My coworkers and I went to the main drag to check out all the different pubs and bars but they were doing construction on the roads so that kinda sucked.

On a night off I went on tinder and found a gal who was looking to meet up. I figured when in roam why not, she was a tall red head, a little thick for my liking but I thought well why not. She mentioned she was going to find a Vampire bar hidden in the strip. I believe the French Quarter is where the action is on Burbon St. Adair warning it’s a wonderful city but very dangerous, stay to the tourist areas if you can.

The vampire bar is hidden at Fritzel’s European Jazz Pub, you walk in and there should be a woman bouncer, you whisper in her ear “A vampire sent me” it will cost you $5 a person and she will unlock this old little door in the back of the pub. You go up the stairs and she locks the door behind you. When you get to the top, there is a little sign that says “enter if you dare” it’s a husband and wife team that setup a private pub where they brew their own mixed cocktails that had real wormwood the bit that makes you hallucinate. Wow I was out of it after a couple of drinks. It was a great night though.

After the New Orleans adventure I had one last project with the company that went south. I asked for a raise instead I got the boot. It was long over due I should have left long before that.

After I left I heard the company started to fall apart, one person ended up in the hospital after an aneurysm from working to much, another sold everything and moved to edmonton, eventually pandemic wiped the company off the map.

After I left I struggled to find work. I became clinically depressed. And started thinking of suicide. I made plans to jump from the lions gate bridge, before I could I have myself one last chance to see a doctor for help.

After talking to my doctor and filling out some forms she gave me some experimental drugs and said it will help. I had nothing to loose so took them and like magic, I was heal, kinda. The bad thoughts went quiet and this one voice was louder then all the others it said “Go home, don’t bring anything just jump on a plane and go home” so I did. I called home and spent a whole month of December at home. And after that in February 2018 I moved home to heal my brain and start a new chapter of my life.