Observations of a Serial Interviewer by Steven Ra Ga

I like to think I am a comedian but with my monotone form of speaking sometimes people just don’t get my humour. I have made people pee themselves laugh at my various life experiences but when I try and make a joke or poke fun in a joking way it always get taken as serious. Like my form of sarcasm people find insulting.

I don’t make jokes anymore.

But it made me wonder for a while that I might be some kind of psychopath.

But now I think I might be more of some kind of narcissist. It would make sense.

Given my chosen profession and my lack of like of certain things.

My best go to story is when I was younger, in my teens, and my younger brother by a few years at the time had a friend over. This friend was a bit odd, he loved to tell lies compulsively, to the point we now think he has the gift of gab. Anyway, he was a wild kid, my brother at the time was equally wild.

In fact we were all wild kinda like that TV show Malcolm in the Middle.

Okay, so I was in my room upstairs and I decided to leave my room as teenagers do, when I noticed the bathroom door was closed, as I approached the door, I could hear a giggle followed by an odd sound, I had heard this sound many times before.

It was the sound from what I could tell of hairspray being lit ablaze.

I knew instantly my brother and his friend were up to no good but I didn’t know exactly what they were doing.

Back in those days I prided myself on being stealthy quiet, like a ninja. I reached out and grabbed the door handle turning it gently to see if it was locked. I was also the fun police back then too, my main goal was to either stop my brothers from murdering one an other or having the house burn down.

As I turned the knob, I prepared myself mentally, then I thrusted the door open as fast and hard as I could while instantly yelling “what are you doing?” My entrance startled the occupants of the washroom, my brother was hunched over on the toilet trying to poop it would seem while his friend suddenly tossed the hairspray bottle into the air…

FABOOM!!

The backsplash of the shower suddenly lit on fire, like a wall of fire, my attention went into damage control and turned the shower on trying to put the fire out.

Meanwhile my brother remained on the toilet and his friends pants had caught fire.

Once the shower fire was out I turn my attention to his friend who was jumping around…

I started to yell “stop, drop and roll” on repeat, I think I was in shock and didn’t know what to do.

His friendly didn’t listen to me, how could he with such little room to move. He then said “fuck it” tore his pants off, grabbed my brother by the scruff and tossed him off the toilet, shoving his burning pants into the poop filled toilet and started flushing it. The fire went out.

We had a good laugh once the dust settled. Keeping in mind this all happened in less than a second or two.

Now that is a great funny story.